New Years Resolutions


Personally, I think New Years Resolutions are kind of crappy. They had to be invented by a procrastinator. I mean really, what is the point in waiting until the beginning of a new year to do something that you're perfectly capable of doing now? Nothing. You just want to procrastinate so when you remember that you need to lose weight sometime around the holidays, you think "Oh, that can be my New Years Resolution" when what you're really saying is that you sure as hell aren't going to avoid cookies and cakes over the holidays, so damn it, you're going to procrastinate and cram as much junk food in your mouth between now and December 31st at 11:59 PM before you grudgingly get your ass to the gym or dust off the Wii Fit.

And really, how often do you keep your New Years Resolutions? Yeah. I thought so. If I had a dollar for every resolution that I didn't keep, well, I'd have a lot more money than I currently have.

But if you don't make a resolution or two or twenty people will inevitably ask you what it is and then you have to say "oh I don't have any." and the person doesn't think "wow this person is so great that they don't need to improve anything in the new year" they think "Lazy! Cheater! How dare this person not make a resolution!"

So, being the procrastinator that I am, of course I have resolutions for the new year. But, cunning genius that I am as well, I've decided I'm not going to call them resolutions and they aren't just happening because its a new year. I know, I know, you wish you came up with this genius scheme all on your own. Its okay, I'm sharing my awesome idea with you and I won't be offended if you claim it to be your own.

Losing Weight: The most common and rarely ever kept resolution of the new year. You wake up on January 1st, march your ass to the gym and damn near die on the treadmill. Knowing that you can't give up in just a day, you stick it out and continue going to the gym for about a month before you say F it and give up all together. Then when spring rolls around and you need to think about your flabbiness in a bathing suit, you curse yourself for not having more motivation, more drive, and damn it why the hell did I eat a Big Mac yesterday! I'm all too aware of the cycle of losing weight.

But, this time I really think I can convince myself that its necessary to exercise and actually lose weight. I'm getting married on September 17th. So, I have 8 months to shed as many pounds as possible and tone up all bits of flabbiness before my final dress fitting and walking down the aisle. To all of you people out there reading this and thinking 'stupid women only want to lose weight before their wedding so they look good; they should want to look good all of the time. The wedding shouldn't be the cause." well, you're wrong. I could not lose a pound and my dress would still fit and my arms wouldn't look like deflating balloon animals. However, I actually enjoy eating healthier foods (stop laughing. I really am serious.) and I'm well aware that unless I get taller (not gonna happen) that it's a bit hard to find jeans that actually fit me considering I'm 10 lbs overweight, which all currently resides in my stomach. So, I could spend $20 on each pair of jeans at the tailor, or I could lose weight. I'm cheap, so loosing weight is the better option for me.

Quitting Smoking: Yes, I picked up this lovely little habit. Honestly, I'm not sure why I started smoking anymore. I broke up with my high school boyfriend the summer after we graduated and bought a pack of cigarettes. At first, it was just smoking when drinking, but then came that little issue of not actually finishing a pack in a night, so then I'd be stuck smoking the rest of them to avoid wasting money or having the cigarettes go stale. I've quit a few times and picked it back up again for random reasons. I've noticed if I have a boyfriend that smokes, I have no desire to quit smoking. So try having a fiance that works for a cigarette company, that smokes, and that you live with. Yeah, right, you try quitting then!

A few weeks ago, Tom decided that he didn't want to order more cigarettes and he wanted to quit. I had the tentative plan to quit smoking on the last day of our honeymoon because all of the wedding stress would be behind us (read: me). So, he didn't order any more cigarettes. I slowly watched the cartons decrease down to 1 and then finally, Tom was completely out of cigarettes. He smokes a pack a day and a pack lasts me 2-3 days, so the obvious solution was for him to smoke my cigarettes until they were all gone and we'd quit together.

Well, that day appears to be tomorrow...maybe. Tom took the last pack last night. I still have 7 cigarettes left. Which means that my last cigarette will probably be tomorrow morning on the way to work. Honestly, I don't mind quitting. Living in Maryland, its rather tempting to quit once it gets cold outside. Really, who wants to stand outside in 30 degree weather with 15 mph wind gusts and smoke a cigarette? Yeah, not me!

So, although they are not resolutions per say, they are "things I'm going to do this year".

What are yours?

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